Lola: An Autobiography (Part 1)


My name is Lola, and I am fourteen years old (that’s two in human years). I was born on the 19th of December, 2014. I am a cross between a kelpie and a whippet. All dog owners think that their dog is the cutest, but I know for a fact that I am the cutest. All the humans at the dog park say so. Being part whippet means that I’m a fast runner (I don’t want to brag but I am the fastest in the dog park), and being part kelpie means that I can run for a long time. I’m always full of energy, unless it’s hot. The Melbourne heat tends to tire me out.

I met my current owners on the 31st of September, 2016. Only three of them came to pick me up. When I went home with them in their car, all I had was my collar and lead, nothing else. We stopped off at the pet store, one of my favourite places, to buy me my accessories. I chose a pink collar with rows of sparkling diamontes on it, and a fluffy flat bed. When I arrived at my new home, I met my fourth owner, Angourie. She was sneezing and kept on blowing her nose, but I knew she was very happy to see me. I jumped up on her straight away.

Through a series of short chapters, I will tell you about my life as one of the world’s most spoilt teenage dogs. I don’t want to brag, but my owners tell me that they love me all the time.

Chapter One: The Green Chairs Are Strictly Forbidden

There are certain rules when it comes to the furniture in my house. In the lounge room, there is one blue couch, two green chairs, and my bed next to the TV. I’m allowed on the couch by invitation only, however I’ve trained my owners so that they know when to invite me. By resting my head on the edge of the couch, they know that means I would like to sit with them. Once I get on the couch, I like to curl up in a little ball, while resting my head on some pillows. Over time, I spread out my legs, and kick the humans off the couch one by one. This is quite an effective strategy to get the couch all to myself.

Next to the couch are two lovely, soft-looking, green chairs. They are strictly forbidden.

I’ve gone through two beds since being at my new house. The first was a flat, fluffy oval bed with a dent in the middle for me to sit in. I quite liked it at first, but then I found it was much more fun to rip holes in it instead. One day I was home alone and bored, so I decided to rip up the bed for good. I managed to squeeze myself and the bed through the dog flap, and I destroyed it outside. I didn’t want to create a mess in the house. My owners were not happy to see that I’d disposed of my bed, and so I was downgraded to a towel. A towel! That was certainly my lowest point, and I learnt my lesson about destroying beds. Kind of. My next bed was much nicer, it had slight walls for me to rest my head on and a nice comfortable mattress … until I destroyed it. Once I had scattered the stuffing around the garden, I proceeded to play with the mattress cover. It’s now my toy, and I like this arrangement much better.

One of my favourite places to hang out is the trampoline. My new owners were quite surprised to see that I could jump onto it all by myself, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. Kalliope, the smallest owner, thought me being on the trampoline was cute at first, but I soon realised that I was not welcome on it while she was jumping. She needs to practice her flips, and I just get in the way. But when Kalliope’s not there, I can sit on the trampoline all by myself. It’s a great place to catch flies and bugs, and sometimes I get the occasional spider off Angourie’s windowsill.

The biggest bed in the house is in the front room, and it is by far my favourite. I’m only supposed to get on it if I’m invited, but if I’m lonely in the middle of the night I’ll get on so I can snuggle up to someone. The smallest bed in the house is the most difficult to get to, and so I never get on it. It’s up high and there are steps leading up to it. I can get up by myself, but not down, so I tend to avoid it. Angourie’s bed and couch are open to me at all times. Her only condition is that I don’t steal her teddy bear. It’s been very tempting, but I’ve managed to restrain myself. So far.

Although I much like lying on softer surfaces, I’ll lie down anywhere. I like sitting next to Kate while she works, and lying in the garden in the sun is nice too. If I want extra attention, I’ll roll over onto my back and stick one arm in the air. The humans drop whatever they’re holding or stop whatever they’re doing to come and look at me and tell me I’m cute.

It’s a great way to get attention.


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