The Home of the Brave

You know, Americans say New ORlens but Australians say New OrlEENs, and as an Australian trying to fit in with a bunch of Americans I don’t know what to do.

THE HOME OF THE BRAVE – Monday, the 24th of October

Weird American Ads I Have Seen:

  1. People asking kids if they sold ice tea at a lemonade stand
  2. A pet frog riding in a Toyota
  3. The return of the endless pasta bowl at the Olive Garden
  4. Endless BBQ shrimp
  5. Like a good neighbour, state farm is there
  6. An ad featuring an Australian actor
  7. Ouija: Origin of Evil (don’t even talk to be about my fear of bad spirits)
  8. A burger with orange cheese
  9. Someone wearing a lampshade on their head in an ad for insurance
  10. A 5 minute medical disclaimer at the end of an ad for medicine

Things That Made Me Happy: 

  1. Falling into bed after not being able to sleep on the plane
  2. Having a shower

Fun Fact About Louisiana:

The Mississippi River, which runs through Louisiana, is the second longest river in the USA. Also, it is impossible to spell Mississippi without thinking about it for at least three seconds.

ARE YOU BRITISH? – Tuesday, the 25th of October

My Experience At An American Shopping Centre:

  1. “No, I’m not British.”
  2. These Halloween decorations are kind of scary
  3. Why is the Vampire promoting wine? Doesn’t he just drink blood?
  4. I’m lost
  5. Why is this shopping centre so complicated?
  6. Why are there no pink lady apples?
  7. To be honest, if I lived in America, I would never cook, I’d just buy frozen meals all the time
  8. WHICH BEN AND JERRY’S ICE CREAM FLAVOUR SHOULD I CHOOSE I’M SO CONFLICTED RIGHT NOW
  9. Okay, I’ll try chocolate fudge brownie and get half-baked next time
  10. This moisturiser looks good (when I got home I discovered I’m actually allergic to it)
  11. I’ve lost my parent
  12. I’m lost (again)
  13. Why is there no free range chicken? Happy chickens are yummy chickens, people
  14. 70% of these cereals are either frosted (aka coated in sugar) or have chocolate in them
  15. Where is the vegemite?

Things That Made Me Happy:

  1. Eating Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream
  2. Putting on my costume for the first time

Fun Fact About Louisiana: 

Beignets are sugar covered donut type things which are apparently impossible to eat without being messy. I still haven’t had one, but when I do, I’m going to try and be as neat as I can.

I’M ON AN ALL-SNACK DIET – Wednesday, the 26th of October

My Favourite Snacks on Set: 

  1. “Chips Ahoy!” chocolate chip cookies
  2. Grandma’s chocolate brownie cookies
  3. Rainbow cookies
  4. Just any cookies
  5. Peppermint tea
  6. Breadsticks and Nutella
  7. NOT POP TARTS (I ate one and it gave me a headache)
  8. Mini chocolate bars
  9. M&Ms
  10. Dried fruit
  11. Muesli bars
  12. Cereal (yes, they have cereal at craft services)

Things That Made Me Happy: 

  1. Going for a swim in the hotel pool
  2. Eating More Ice Cream

Fun Fact About New Orleans: 

The cemeteries are tourist attractions. This is a plea to all tourists: please don’t disturb the spirits and ghosts, I’d like to live a long and happy life and not be murdered or haunted.

SOUTHERN BELLE (part 1) – Thursday, the 27th of October

Difficult Aspects of the Southern Accent: 

  1. “BAW-Y” for boy
  2. Relaxed mouth
  3. Less consonants and more vowel sounds
  4. “night” is not “naht”, it’s just normal
  5. “Shew-ah” for sure
  6. Less “r” sounds (thank god)
  7. Not a slow southern drawl (southerners speak at a normal pace, y’all)
  8. “I” is pronounced “ah”
  9. Scarlett O’Hara (in general)

Things That Made Me Happy:

  1. Pam and Jim getting married on The Office!!!
  2. Skyping my sister

Fun Fact About New Orleans:

NOLA is where Voodoo was first introduced. Hopefully I won’t disturb any spirits while I’m here. Remember Tiana in Princess and the Frog?

SOUTHERN BELLE (part 2) – Friday, the 28th of October

Southern Lady Etiquette:

  1. Address all superiors as “ma’m” or “sir”
  2. Do not cross your legs when sitting down, only your ankles.
  3. Always sit up straight
  4. Pray before every meal and before bed
  5. Curtsey when entering a room and greeting someone
  6. Do not eat until the lady of the house has signalled to
  7. Be calm, respectful and polite
  8. Place your napkin on your lap and dab at your mouth, not wipe
  9. Always let the man guide you (hahahahahahahahaha)

Things That Made Me Happy:

  1. Skyping all my friends at lunch
  2. Gossiping with aforementioned friends

Fun Fact About New Orleans:

It is a state law in Louisiana that all children must call their teachers “ma’am” and “sir”. Whoops.

Featured Image: My dad took this picture of me while I was walking through the trailer park. I always get lost in trailer parks because all the trailers look the same and I have a terrible sense of direction.

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